Six Things Liberals Have in Common with Adolf Hitler

A few months ago, I shared a viewpoint with some friends that the liberal wing of the Democrat party believes in many of the same principles adopted by none other than Adolf Hitler. A mere two weeks later, I learned that Johah Goldberg is currently writing a book about an eerily similar topic. The name of the book is “Liberal Fascism: The Totalitarian Temptation From Mussolini to Hillary Clinton.” The book won’t be released until August 2006 but in the mean time I’d like to share my own top 6 things that liberals have in common with the Adolf Hitler.

1. Hitler was a vegetarian. Beginning in 1931, Hitler began to shove carrots up his ass and continued to be a vegetarian for the remainder of his life. Even though this fact is well documented, vegetarians have tried to downplay his tendency to fondle broccoli in an effort to make you believe that all vegetarians are inherently good people. So what is the connection to liberalism? It is undeniably true that nearly all vegetarians are liberals who, in addition, lead the cause for animal rights.

So what do you call a Nazi vegetarian with diarrhea?
Ein Salatballermann
(a salad shooter)


Hitler showing respect for a nice little animal.

Hitler identified his vegetarianism with his disdain for hunting:
"I am no admirer of the poacher, particularly as I am a vegetarian."- Adolf Hitler. August 20, 1942. Section 293, HITLER'S TABLE TALK

"One may regret living at a period when it's impossible to form an idea of the shape the world of the future will assume. But there's one thing I can predict to eaters of meat: the world of the future will be vegetarian."- Adolf Hitler. November 11, 1941. Section 66, HITLER'S TABLE TALK

2. Hitler believed that animals were smarter than most human beings. Legend has it that during a visit to Hitler, a Nazi general was a bit intimidated by Blondie, Hitler’s German Shepherd Dog. Hitler told the General not to worry and then began to brag about the canine stating that Blondie was smarter than most people. Many liberal/animal rights activists actually believe that dolphins are smarter than human beings. Well, both may have a point on this one. Any liberal who dives into the ocean to stroke a dolphin’s penis can’t be that intelligent. Jiz…..er..I mean geez. Also, I own a German Shepherd Dog and I must admit that she is much more intelligent than some human beings. She’d never try to stroke a dolphin’s penis. Given the chance, she may bite the damn thing off, though.

Hitler with Blondie who was smarter than most people.

"I love animals, and especially dogs." - Adolf Hitler. January 25, 1942. Section 125, HITLER'S TABLE TALK ([Apparently the Jew is the only animal he doesn’t like.])

3. Hitler and Himmler: Environmentalism Part I: In December 1942, Heinrich Himmler, Hitler’s right hand man, released a decree "On the Treatment of the Land in the Eastern Territories," referring to the newly annexed portions of Poland.

“The peasant of our racial stock has always carefully endeavored to increase the natural powers of the soil, plants, and animals, and to preserve the balance of the whole of nature. For him, respect for divine creation is the measure of all culture. If, therefore, the new Lebensräume (living spaces) are to become a homeland for our settlers, the planned arrangement of the landscape to keep it close to nature is a decisive prerequisite. It is one of the bases for fortifying the German Volk.” - Heinrich Himmler - Quoted in Heinz Haushofer, Ideengeschichte der Agrarwirtschaft und Agrarpolitik im deutschen Sprachgebiet, Band II, München, 1958, p. 266.

Are you kidding me? First, Hitler is shoving carrots and celery up his ass. Now Himmler is a tree hugger? Will Hillary run as a Nazi?

4. Hitler: Environmentalism Part II: In addition to keeping the landscape as close to nature as possible, Hitler wanted an economical car for the masses. Sitting at a restaurant table in Munich in the summer of 1932, Hitler drew a picture of what would become the immensely successful Beetle design for Volkswagen. Hitler believed that all people should be able to own a car. (They just shouldn’t all own Mercedes like he did.) At the Berlin Auto Show in 1934, Hitler stated that his government would support the development of a 'people’s car'. (If Hillary is reading this right now, I’m sure her penis er…..a… her nipples are hard at the idea of government involvement..) Hitler delivered Ferdinand Porsche the design of a car that could carry two adults and three children at a speed of 60mph with AT LEAST 33 mpg. The price was to be 1000 Reichmarks. Porsche thought that Hitler was crazy (he was) but wasn’t about to tell the Fuhrer no. Would you? Anyway, the elitists in Germany continued to drive Mercedes and the masses eventually got to drive the “People’s Car.” Most liberals love to contribute to Greenpeace and tout the new battery powered cars…….right after they fill up their Suburbans with $100 worth of gasoline.

Hitler's original drawing of the Volkswagen Beetle.
He drove a Mercedes.

5. Hitler Hated Capitalism. Hitler publicly scorned capitalists, whom he believed controlled the masses with wages and goods. During the 1940’s when rationing was in effect, Hitler went after capitalists and imposed restrictions in an attempt to ensure equal distribution of goods. Prior to WWII, Hitler demanded that large industries share profits to more equally distribute income. Doesn’t this sound like the redistribution of wealth policies advocated by the loony leftists in Washington? The liberals’ version of this is to raise taxes and create more government programs like food stamps, reduced lunch prices, Medicare, welfare, etc. Geez, Hitler’s view on capitalism would give Hillary Clinton a hard-on…..or something like that.

6. Hitler: The Founder of Abortion? It is no secret that Hitler killed roughly 1.5 million Jews using a variety of techniques. Many of the Jews were gassed and later burned. Liberals, on the other hand, choose a much less humane way of getting rid of innocent life. Abortion usually involves 1) cracking open an unborn baby’s skull, 2) sucking out its brains, and 3) later throwing what’s left into a garbage dumpster. One could argue that killing innocent life with gas is much more humane than cracking someone’s skull. Also, Hitler didn’t throw Jews into garbage dumpsters. He at least had an ounce of respect for them. They were either buried or burned or both. While initially outlawing abortion in favor of eugenics and sterilization, he ultimately gave in and allowed abortion for Slavic women for the systemic extermination of inferior genetics. Isn’t that what liberals want? The good news is that abortionists, who will ultimately be the recipients of Satan’s flaming dildo, will at least get an opportunity to visit with Hitler in Hell.

Margaret Sanger: Founder of Planned Parenthood	Adolf

Let’s ask the founder of Planned Parenthood what she thinks about eugenics:
". . .we prefer the policy of immediate sterilization, of making sure that parenthood is 'absolutely prohibited' to the feeble-minded." - Margaret Sanger - Founder of Planned Parenthood - The Pivot of Civilization, p102

And what might the Fuhrer think?
"The demand that defective people be prevented from propagating equally defective offspring. . .represents the most humane act of mankind." - Adolf Hitler - Dictator of Nazi Germany - Mein Kampf, vol. 1, ch. 10

So as you can clearly see, Hillaryism = Hitlerism. So the next time you hear a liberal comparing Bush to Hitler or Ashcroft to Hitler, just tell them to go abort themselves.